Upon My Devotion

Upon My Devotion

Upon my devotion

you spread your anger with the world

I now suffer

You thought you were safe

or perhaps you thought

I wouldn’t stop kidding myself

Memories well up

your ice-green eyes bulging

your once soft hands twisting,

shoving,

pinning,

my body…my mind

Close to three years fear bound me to you

Fear of being alone,

fear of losing

all I had invested in “US”

Close to three years

I was the butt of your anger

-my instinct was first to protect you-

I believed in your promises

My belief has deteriorated

and an even greater fear

has pulled me away

Losing sight of myself

I always put you first

I leave you yes

but that is a far less sacrifice then leaving myself

I am not capable of being responsible for you and me both

This time… I choose me Forever

 

-Elin Stebbins-age 19