When Failure is the Solution

It’s been a long five weeks.

Now, with the clarity that only comes from getting through a rough patch, I feel relieved to be in a quiet room alone with my thoughts and my computer. Had you asked me on December 1, 2014, if some of the goals I set for myself for the final month of 2014 would be abandoned, I would have scoffed.

Yet that is precisely what happened.

As of December 1, I had just completed a 30-day challenge to blog daily and signed up for another 31 days. On the “take care of myself physically” front, I had also committed to a 60-day PiYo challenge. By December 10th, it was pretty clear that life had a different plan for me — I had two choices — yield or fight. I chose to yield.

Truth be told, I am tired of fighting.

Sometimes, failure is not only the right solution, it is the best (if not only) solution. The two goals I mentioned were both negotiable; in other words, the only person who would be affected by my abandoning them was me.

At first, I felt uncomfortable, more like a quitter than a problem solver.

Yet the further I traveled away from my arbitrary goals, the more at ease I felt with the permission I had extended myself to let go. Life throws curveballs. We don’t plan for a loved one to fall sick. We don’t expect to get sick ourselves, but it happens.

It’s not if, it’s when.

That was December. It was a month of illness…and now — finally — I feel as if we have rounded the corner. And although I sure don’t plan to blog daily or exercise for 60 straight days…I almost feel as if I could.

If for no other reason than to satisfy my curiosity, I’d like to look a little bit harder at the notion of failure.

As defined by Dictionary dot com, the word “fail” as a verb (used with object):

• to be unsuccessful in the performance or completion of:
  He failed to do his duty.
• (of some expected or usual resource) to prove of no use or help to:
  His friends failed him. Words failed her.
• to receive less than a passing grade or mark in:
  He failed history.
• to declare (a person) unsuccessful in a test, course of study, etc.; give less than a passing grade to:
  The professor failed him in history.

Here is the thing that definitions don’t account for: sometimes failure is the best solution because not paying homage to what you need (or perhaps another person in your life needs) would be a failure of far greater proportion.

For years, I struggled to grant myself the same form of permission I gave others. I held myself to a higher standard and often beat myself up if I redrafted goals. Thankfully, those days are gone.

Yet that doesn’t mean it is easy.

In this situation, I was reminded that the key to my liberation is my ability to grant myself permission to let go.

As I said earlier, I am no longer interested in the fight. Life is either way too short or far too long. Sometimes, it just makes more sense to yield than let go.

What about you? What do you do when life events trump your plans?