Yesterday, while we had the entire Backyard Playgroup together again, we had our family portrait taken.
The daylight hours, having been pushed back to standard, bent long rays of gold behind us—the air was crisp, the afternoon, beautiful.
While the photographer, a friend, worked her magic with the lens, we propped ourselves up against centuries old buildings. Later tree stumps and stair rails provided places to sit and lean.
Click, click, click.
And there we were—unaware of the granular pieces of sand sifting their way through the hourglass—happy to be in each others company.
This morning, house emptied, I sat, computer on my lap and replayed our time together advancing through each slide.
This is how fast the time slips past.
Click, click, click.
As I scrolled, the images of our children stared back at me from the screen, the ages they were yesterday: 26, 17 and 15, now permanently recorded.
A moment in time stilled, if not stopped. Now, steeped in silence, I study each of them—much the way I did when they were babies—with abandon.
When they would sleep, I would steal into their rooms, there I would stare for so long I felt I could draw them from memory; eyelashes against skin, a curve of the nose, two lips pinched together like piecrust and little fingers clenched in small fists splayed to either side of
their head. Back then I could linger. Watch. Be.
Now—each of those moments remains forever tattooed on my interior wall of memory—if I were to watch any one of them with that sort of intensity today, I would be sensed, questioned, judged…
“What…?”
What. Here I am, in the now—no back, no forward—just right now. Me, alone with my computer, no rolling eyes, no protests, just smiles.
Here, I am simply free to marvel over the miracle that they each exist.
What a beautiful post – and beautiful family. So glad you were all able to be together. Amazing how fast time goes. xo
Thanks Lois. The time sure does zip past…and lately it seems to be zipping faster!
So beautiful, Elin – just like you and your family. I felt frozen in time with you, as if I were standing slightly behind you, holding my breath and observing silently as you soak in every precious detail. Bravo!
Thank you Edee.
I felt a lump form in my throat as you described standing there, watching your baby sleep. I always loved watching my girls sleep, and even still, when I sneak a peek of my sleeping girls, I can see the face of a baby I once rocked hidden in the adult features of a woman.
Beautiful post. Beautiful pictures. Beautiful family.
Mary, thank you for this lovely comment. Yes, I know just what you mean too…the traces are still there. Sometimes when I look at photos from when they were little, I can now see the person they will eventually transform into also!
Beautiful, powerful, moving post. I have tears in my eyes as I sit here picturing (and aching for) my babies. But now I blink and flash forward and smile as I think of the amazing men they have become. Thank You.
How wonderfully put Janet, thank you!
What a bittersweet day! Your family is beautiful.
They grow up so so fast!
Awww! Spoken like a true mom. My mother loves it when I go home to visit, and “all of her babies are together” because it makes her feel like it used to when we were all little. No matter how old your children get, they’re still your kids.
Thanks Jen, oh this is so very true…xo