Brittany Maynard’s gorgeous smile stares out at me from the People Magazine exclusive which shared with the world that on November 2, yesterday, this courageous woman carried out her decision to end her life with the help of the Death with Dignity Act available in the state of Oregon.
If you are unfamiliar with her story, last spring Brittany Maynard was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma; a medical conclusion that carried with it a 6-month life expectancy, she was 29.
Twenty-nine. For a moment think back, what was your life at that age?
When I was 29 the divorce from my first husband was finalized. I was a mother to my sweet boy Max. On a whim I enrolled in, and completed, a weeklong Outward Bound course in the Rocky Mountains. I worked for what was then Kinko’s Copies, as a Regional Training Manager. I liked to ski and camp with my son. I had loads of fun friends, we danced, drank and laughed. I was in therapy sorting out my past and grabbing tools to build a future. My life was full. I was happy, young and had a seed of hope that things would only get better. I was healthy. And I was months away from walking into a bar and meeting the love of my life.
In my 30’s, a decade Brittany will not experience, I would have two more healthy children, move from Colorado to California, stay home with my kids, then later begin a career in new home sales. In my 40’s my prosperous career would fall apart in the recession. At 47 I would be inspired to write and publish my first book—a book I had started at 22—become a speaker and create a life that helps people.
And now in the decade of my 50’s—I cannot begin to imagine a fate such as the one that was Brittany Maynard’s. Reading her parting words I can’t help but feel what a gift she was—to her family, her husband, her friends—and by extension, thanks to her generous attitude, all of us.
Goodbye to all my dear friends and family that I love. Today is the day I have chosen to pass away with dignity in the face of my terminal illness, this terrible brain cancer that has taken so much from me … but would have taken so much more,” she wrote on Facebook. “The world is a beautiful place, travel has been my greatest teacher, my close friends and folks are the greatest givers. I even have a ring of support around my bed as I type … Goodbye world. Spread good energy. Pay it forward!”
Pay it forward indeed.
A month ago, after learning about Brittany, I wrote a post called, The Every Day Last Day, in it I mused about Brittany’s decision:
And now with days left to live, Brittany is connected to all that matters in the end, the people and things
she loves. Truth is we are all dying. The rest of us simply don’t know when…”
If we have our health we have so much to be grateful for. I for one intend to keep in mind all the incredible things I get to do.
Notice I wrote “get to do.” Life is always filled with “have to’s.” Take those “have to’s” and turn them into “get to’s,” I can only imagine that Brittany Maynard would have loved the opportunity to do anything I might dread on my list.
It’s a paradigm shift. One that recognizes what a privilege it is to be alive and healthy.
Rest in Peace Brittany Maynard. There will be loads of opinions about your personal decision to leave this world on your own terms. I for one am going to simply say thank you for giving us permission to bare witness to your courageous and all too short life.
I pray for her and her family and what they have endured. She is a true testament to the beauty and fragility of life, and how one young woman can show the world what dignity really is. My heart aches for her, but the best thing we can do to keep her memory alive is to carry dignity in our hearts in all that we do. And to love one another, always.
A beautiful and heartfelt post, Elin. Something I’ve come to expect from you.
Thank you Cathy, what a nice thing to say. Love goes a long way, yes?
The right to die is a very tough and complex issue. All my best to everyone dealing with a terminal illness and hugs to them and their loved ones as well. Such a tough road to walk.
It is complex. I read an excellent blog post written by an Undertaker about this subject, I found it fascinating. I agree…it would be a very hard road to walk.
Just heart-rending. Certainly puts any angst I might feel about turning 60 tomorrow in perspective. Thanks.
Happy Birthday Roz!
What a great post, Elin! I think that you have indeed captured the spirit of this courageous young woman whose journey was far too short.
Thanks Jackie!
Such a personal, difficult choice. Heart wrenching. Rest in peace.
Indeed…
Rest in peace. Poor sweet young thing, but so very brave. I need to write something about not letting my brother die. Soon. Thanks for your great post.
Thanks Nancy. I look forward to reading what you right about your brother.
a get to do list…..I like that. One of my closest friends son was diagnosed with a brain tumor almost a year ago. He had just finished all of his medical training and had accepted a place in an amazing group of doctors. He is declining….it is so hard
Sorry to hear about your friends son Donna. Such a mean disease…hard on everyone…
Yes, it is a privilege to be alive and healthy, and if we could just remember that every single day, we would be able to put our ridiculous little complaints in perspective and enjoy everything we are lucky enough to get to do. This is a great tribute to Brittany, whose courage and wisdom are inspiring. Just like yours.
Thanks Lois. xoxox
A lovely young woman, a heartbreaking situation, a courageous decision.
True enough…
The Brittany Maynard story has haunted me since I first read about her. Having worked in hospice, I do believe in people’s right to ends their lives with dignity. Brittany seemed wise beyond her years. I was so immature at 29, I couldn’t have handled something like that with the grace that she did.
Haunted is the perfect word Angela…
We have to value everyday that we get to spend with loved ones and able to enjoy and appreciate life. I am a believer that we have to respect people’s decisions in how they chose to live their lives with dignity.
Couldn’t agree with you more Ines. Thank you.
I just love your shift and I am so grateful that I “get to” embrace it. I look forward to rethinking my perspective and turning not only my “have to do”s but also my “should do”s to “get to do”s. How uplifting and inspiring is that? Thank you Elin!
Love that Ruth and thank you!
Chills run the length of my spine when I think about the number of times I’ve cursed my “have to’s” with the lack of gratitude and recognition that every day is filled with “get to’s”.
What a beautiful reminder, Elin. Thank you for this!
You are so welcome Mary, it is a shift for me too.
This is such a sad story. I admire her decision, although I’m not sure I could do the same thing. But if anything, she has taught me to appreciate everyday of my life.
Agree, and hope to never have to be in a position to need that choice…
I feel blessed for every day I have to live and cannot imagine what she had to go through and the decisions she had to make. It’s no one’s place to judge her for what she did. May her family find the peace they need is my hope.
Thank you Wendy, I agree!